Each day, with the breaking of dawn, we are confronted with a decision. What is God’s will for my life? What will He have me do today? Does He micromanage my life in the daily diminutive decisions and trifling troubles that are seemingly unavoidable? Or, does His will have more to do with an overarching theme in my life; the bigger picture, so to speak? Does He even care about every trivial pursuit in my life or does He only concern Himself with matters spiritual?

How we respond to all of the above questions would depend upon our perception of God. Is He relational or is He the ‘big guy in the sky’? Do I sit at His feet or do I venerate Him from afar? Is He ‘Abba Father’ or is He ‘God Almighty’? If your life has been touched by grief, trauma, or despair, you will find yourself asking these questions even more than any other person would. You may question the nature of God, His love for you, and His purpose for your life. After all, how can a loving God allow bad things to happen, if He loves me why does He let harm befall me, and how can anything good come out of the brokenness He has allowed into my life?

My experiences as a widow have taught me the responses to these questions are not cut and dried…they are speculative, dynamic, and circumstantial. Each day, my thoughts and feelings are governed by my experiences, the words of those around me, and the influence of my own powerful self-talk. The struggle to know God’s will is a very real struggle. He does not place a beacon above your head which lights the path you should choose. He does not place a pillar of fire before you that you can confidently follow. He does not speak with a loud booming voice that you unmistakably recognize as His.

He does, however, orchestrate circumstances in your life and those around you to make way for His will to be fulfilled in your life. To ‘hear’ His voice and ‘follow’ His leading requires for us to be quiet and discerning. It calls for us to not set our hearts on that which we desire but rather take that desire to Him and surrender it to Him. It calls for us to not plow our way through life leaving a path of carnage behind us but rather to tread gently as He opens appropriate doors. It calls for us to take pause at every step, to seek wisdom and counsel from others but to have the acumen to identify the voice that is tuned in to the heart of God.

It calls for us to not be conformists yet not be insolent. Tread softly, listen keenly – rest your ear on His bosom. He speaks to our hearts in a soft tender voice, barely discernible. Train yourself to disregard the voice of fear and trepidation which will always boom louder in your ear. Know that He has a perfect will for your life. He is just under no obligation to reveal it to you beyond that which He thinks is judicious. Lean into His word, harken His voice, and let Him renew your mind constantly. Then fiercely live your life with all the confidence that He knows the outcome. Leave to Him the big picture; you just choose to walk with Him daily.