When I reflect on my pre-Lyme disease days, I can’t help but mourn the loss of all that energy, drive, and fortitude. Here’s a snapshot of my former routine: wake up at 5am every morning to run a 5k and lift weights, leave for college or work by 7:30am, spend the day at the law firm or at college studying and practicing piano for 5 hours, return home late with just enough time to eat and get ready for bed. Repeat six, sometimes seven, days of the week. I was a straight-A student, received many awards in my department, and was Valedictorian of my undergraduate class – the epitome of the overachieving student. And I thrived. Achieving and performing gave me an adrenaline rush. It gave me a sense of purpose and identity. Everyone knew who I was based on what I did and how well I did it…until the summer between my junior and senior years of college when my entire world changed forever.

Since my Lyme diagnosis, the day-to-day tasks I previously never thought twice about became monumental endeavors. I constantly battled weight loss, GI pain, severe fatigue, joint/muscle pain, insomnia, and more. The delights and successes of my former life were but a faint memory. Forget about running a 5K…walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water felt like climbing a mountain.

Needless to say, my physical condition took a catastrophic toll on my mental wellbeing. I could barely walk, much less work or “accomplish” anything. I gave up mentally. As I mourned the loss of my dreams for the future, I plunged into the pit of despair.

When reeling from major upheaval, the road ahead seems daunting and perilous. The things you previously took for granted are suddenly stripped away, leaving you vulnerable and hopeless. How does one begin to face, much less triumph over, a season of despair?

Tiny Steps…

I thank God that my mom refused to allow me to surrender to my seemingly hopeless circumstances. While everyone else took pity on me (including myself), Mom knew this season was merely a lesson in leaning on God and literally relying on Him for daily strength. Every day, my 5’1” mom would grab my frail, 80-lb, 5’5” frame and hoist me off the couch to “walk” with her outside for five minutes. I’d tearfully protest, sometimes crying the entire five minutes, as we painfully strolled around the perimeter of the house. “One tiny step at a time.” Sometimes it was the only thing I accomplished that day. But my mom knew that one tiny accomplishment was just the beginning. She knew that God still had a purpose for my life, even if I couldn’t see it in the midst of my pain.

Our five minute walks grew longer as I regained strength and learned to manage my symptoms. It was easy to natural to feel overwhelmed by how much of my health I had lost and how impossible it seemed to gain even half of it back. But by focusing on the next tiny step rather than the marathon before me, I was able to celebrate small victories and accomplishments. How can you focus on taking one tiny step at a time as you climb out of the pit of despair?

1. Adjust expectations

Every season of life is different – it has its own challenges and blessings. When you’ve experienced devastation of any kind, you must adjust your expectations of yourself and others to move forward. After Lyme, I realized I needed more rest. I could no longer work a stressful, 50-hour week. I had to repudiate the idea that not being able to work was synonymous with failure…I had to view these “less productive” days as “recovery” days. I made many dietary changes and no longer overexerted in physical exercise to avoid paying the price later. All of these adjustments allowed my body and mind to heal. I had to completely let go of my overachieving tendencies and embrace a new, balanced lifestyle that would allow me to thrive, not just survive, in my new reality.

2. Celebrate courage rather than fixating on failure

With some trial and error, I discovered there were things I could do that didn’t require me to overexert – things I enjoyed that gave me a sense of purpose, whether through teaching or serving or giving back in some way. Other times, I launched into some new field of work only to discover my body couldn’t handle it. But I never viewed these as failures…they were merely moments in which I stepped out in courage and discovered my limits. Allowing those moments to inform and guide rather than discourage is one key to defeating despair.

3. Fix your eyes on Christ

Followers of Christ have an eternal hope and “inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away” (1 Peter 1:4). Peter goes on to write about how the trials of this life help prove the endurance of our faith and result in God’s praise, glory, and honor. What does it mean to fix our eyes on Christ? 1. Know who you are in Him. If your identity is in the capricious things of this world, you will face identity crisis after identity crisis. But if your identity is planted firmly in Christ, Who never changes, your identity will also never change, no matter the victories, failures, and trials you face. 2. Know that your strength comes from Him alone. God is glorified in your weakness, because it is evident to the whole world that He is the One sustaining you. 3. Keep an eternal perspective. It is easy and tempting to wallow in a season of despair. Instead, fix your eyes on the heavenly prize, the imperishable inheritance of forever dwelling in God’s glorious presence. Our days and trials on this earth are but a speck in the vast span of eternity.

“Focus on the things that remind you of what it means to live victoriously.”

Megan Mascarenhas

4. Lean on godly friends

We were never meant to do life alone; that’s why God created Eve as a companion for Adam. Even the Godhead (Trinity – Father, Son, Holy Spirit) demonstrates the value of communion and fellowship. Whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed, you can be significantly blessed by investing in relationships with godly friends. Find someone who can speak life and encouragement to you each day, pray with you, send you scripture verses, etc. Find a friend who listens well and knows when it is okay to simply be silent, sit with you, hold you, and cry with you. Sometimes a little tough love can be a good thing, too. It took my mom’s tough love to force me off the couch and start taking those tiny steps toward recovery.

There are many things you could practice on a daily basis: practicing gratitude and serving others give you perspective; spending time in nature helps to clear the mind and refresh the soul; investing in hobbies you love gives a sense of productivity and joy. Focus on the things that remind you of what it means to live victoriously. Don’t tackle too many things at once…take one tiny step at a time, and one day you will look back and marvel at just how far you have come. I know I certainly do!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, ⁵ who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, ⁷ so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; ⁸ and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, ⁹ obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.”

1 Peter 1:3-9