Surviving trauma is no mean feat – whether it is the trauma of losing a spouse, trauma of abuse at the hands of a spouse or family member, or trauma related to a catastrophic illness or financial devastation. Trauma of every kind requires you to make decisions – what do I do with this experience? Do I use it to garner sympathy from others or do I use it to let others see the enduring and sustaining hand of God in my life no matter what evil is perpetrated against me? Do I stay the course in confidence that God who is infinitely able and willing will reach down and transform the perpetrator?  Do I trust that He will answer my prayer to deliver me? Do I trust His grace is sufficient for me in enduring the trauma of loss? Do I rise up and fight against every negative thought and emotion or do I just give in to the sheer exhaustion of fighting a losing battle daily?

The truth is we do ALL of these in the course of dealing with trauma. We go back and forth between fight and flight, feign and fawn, freeze and freedom. You do whatever it takes to make it through each day. However, a constant state of being on “high-alert” is required so you do not get complacent and drop your guard. When you do drop your guard you find yourself slipping into the abyss of hopelessness. If you allow yourself to stay there you will slowly lose the ability to climb out of the abyss. Trauma will win because your brain will disconnect from the reality of what you are living with and you will disconnect from the deep roots of trauma response in your mind and body. Giving up is not an option.

Memories of a traumatic event or a series of traumatic events will unexpectedly blindside you; your brain’s natural response will be to allow you to re-experience all the fear, panic, and utter despair you experienced at the original traumatic event. Your body will respond to those emotions with a panic response and you will hyperventilate, you will have nightmares, you will have insomnia, and you will suffer from physical ailments. So what do you do with those triggers? You cannot just discard your memories or get over them. You have to retrain your brain to respond to them in a more controlled manner. You have to reframe your memories.

You have to make a conscious decision to find new, positive associations for every trigger – you may choose to picture a place of peace and tranquility – any image that helps you trick your brain into calming down instead of sending you into a panic response. The key to this is to not constantly feed your fears but rather recognize that trauma is not terminal.  

Trauma can and should be used to reclaim your identity and sense of purpose. That will look different for each of us. This is why it is not uncommon for a trauma survivor to start a philanthropic endeavor, a charity, a non-profit, or a ministry. Reach out to others who have endured a trauma similar to what you have endured. Only those who have endured similar experiences can speak to the effects of that experience with veracity. Reclaim the effects of trauma – do not let it destroy you but let it mold you. You will evolve into a being very different from who you were prior to the trauma.  There will be parts of you that will be lost forever and there will be parts of you that will now exist because of the trauma.  

Take all of these experiences and make a decision to be TRIUMPHANT. Life and death are what form the circle of life – you just cannot have one without the other. Abuse, loss of health, divorce, premature death – they just do not make sense in a perfect world. But, nothing about the world we live in is perfect. We are surrounded by people who lack integrity (their behavior inflicts pain and devastation on those with integrity). We are surrounded by people who make irresponsible choices (albeit unintentional, their choices bring devastation to innocent parties). We are faced with the absolute senselessness of premature and accidental death (this leaves us incoherent in a world that once made perfect sense to us). We are devastated by the unexpected diagnosis (life-changing and redefining). We have our security taken away from us when we are dealt a financial blow by loss of jobs or fraudulent acts (this affects every sphere of our life and our ability to do life as we once knew).

How then do we choose to be triumphant in the midst of such devastation? My journey has taught me that life is not fair but God is. The justice system is not about justice – the one who plays the dirtiest game often wins. Truth and integrity are not always rewarded in a like manner. Yet, if you take a step back from your circumstances and separate your past, present, and your future into separate seasons of life each with their own positives and negatives and parse them, you will find that there is a pattern of positives: people who have loved you well, people who have had your back in the difficult seasons, people who have prayed for you, a relationship with God that has carried you through the darkest valleys, a sense of purpose that came out of your loss which you now get to count as your gain. 

James 1:2 encourages us to count it all as JOY. There is nothing savory about your circumstance, but if you refocus your vision, if you stop looking at your life in a self-centric manner, if you stop feeding the victim within you, you can and will live a TRIUMPHANT life notwithstanding the trauma you have endured.

“Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame” 

Isaiah 50:7

Rise up WARRIOR!!

Isaiah 55:1 “Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters”. Do you thirst for triumph? Do you thirst for victory over your circumstances? Do you thirst to be free from the bondage of your trauma-induced responses? COME to the waters. Healing is a cooperative effort. It takes you being willing to work in synergy with the healing God has for you. It takes your willingness to  accept an invitation. It takes you leaving justice to the hands of the Lord who is the author of life.

When you know you are Treasured, you will be Triumphant. When trauma breaks you, allow yourself to evolve into a thing of beauty – with cracks and scars but with a power that comes from healing from the effects of trauma. You are more than a survivor. You are a Victor. You are Triumphant and Treasured.