Narcissistic relationships are antagonistic. Here are a few of the many traits commonly displayed by the narssistic abuser.

Predatory Behavior

Narcissists will stalk their prey with the intent to totally take over every aspect of their existence.  They need to subjugate in relationships so they will emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially manipulate you into cooperating with them.  They are bullies who prefer to think that you enjoy their abuse and have given them permission. They will hit, insult, criticize, push, yell, threaten, and give you backhanded compliments.

Narcissistic Competition

They see every other relationship you have as a competitor.  Your friends and family become their targets.  They will find ways to brag about themselves, shame you, criticize your friends and family, distort information – soon everyone in your circle cannot stand to be around them and avoid you to stay away from the narcissist. The narcissist makes himself feel superior by putting others down.

Parasitism

This is a common trait in narcissists – they see you and everything you own as their property.  They will declare everything that is yours as theirs and accuse you of being a parasite living off them.  They expect you to be an ongoing source of money, housing, privilege, social standing, sex, and caretaking or other forms of service.  This drains the host of not only their physical, emotional, and financial resources but it renders them unable to tap into their own instincts of self-preservation.

Narcissistic Goading

When a narcissist says hurtful things – IGNORE HIM. Here’s why: he wants to hear your hurt, your frustration, your anger and your hatred. That is what motivates him. 

Narcissistic Apology

The narcissist will transfer all blame for his own actions on you: “You made me do it because you will not do what I want and you will not give me what I need. YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE SURE I DON’T GET ANGRY.”

Narcissistic Selfishness

He won’t care that you have looked after him, because according to him, it’s your job. “Why do you think I married you. You are my maid. Don’t expect me to do things for you.”

Narcissistic Love

In the narcissist’s mind, he is way better than you and everyone else. That’s why he will constantly tell you how to walk, talk, and sit. He reframes insults as “constructive criticism” – he genuinely believes he’s making you into a better person.

Narcissistic Self-Pity

The narcissist genuinely believes he is perfect! “It is a terrible burden to carry, knowing that there are so many people out there against you, especially when you are as a wonderful and as brilliant as I am. I need your pity, your sympathy, and your empathy. Give it to me.” Pity is fuel for the narcissist.