(This is applicable to males as well; please apply the appropriate gender.)

February 14th conjures up images of love and romance. Yet, some of us have only memories to hold on to. Yet others have reminders of broken promises, emotional abandonment, and worse. 

Losing the Love of Your Life

“How do I celebrate this special day of love without the one I love?”

I have a perspective many do not have – the undying love of a man who loved me with honesty and integrity – nothing grandiose, no fanfare, not seeking accolades for doing things he was biblically commanded to do, and not failing to appreciate the dedication and love of his wife. He left me with no reason to worry about his fidelity; he allowed me the privilege of living everyday without fear. He chose to love in a gentle, tender, dignified yet adventurous manner. Such a man leaves you with sweet memories; losing such a man breaks your heart into smithereens. You cannot help but grieve such a love lost by untimely death.

My heart, which still bursts with love, now feels heavy with pain akin to unrequited love. As much as I love my husband, I will never hear him say those words, “I love you” which would melt my heart. My memories bring me comfort and pain all at once. Therefore, that is not a place I can linger. The unfailing love of my husband was only promised to me “until death did us part”; all anticipation of eternal love can only be renewed when we meet in eternity. And we will.

Hopelessness and sadness could be the hallmarks of this and every future Valentine’s Day. Unless I decide to not let it be so. 

In the midst of my loneliness, I choose to celebrate love – the love I once had, the love I continue to feel in my heart, the love I feel for those I still have in this world, and the only unfailing eternal love: the love of God. 

There will be sadness mingled with joy. But, I am thankful that I once loved and was loved in a way that some can only dream of. 

On this Valentine’s day if you have had the privilege of being loved well, celebrate the one who loved you well and the blessing you’ve had of being loved by that person.

‘Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired’

Robert Frost

Surviving a Perverted “Love”

How do I restore my confidence in a man’s ability to love his wife?

How do I come to terms with the reality that a “husband” is capable of such vile, evil against the “wife” he promised to love and protect? 

If you have not had the experience of being loved well, but instead endured a selfish and perverted form of “love” – don’t forget who you really are.  You are not who they said you are. You deserved better than you had. You are deserving of agape love as was modeled by Christ Himself.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day, even if it is not all you hoped for, even if it is not perfect – because what you once had and what you continue to have are worth celebrating…because He who made you in His image with a heart full of tenderness, compassion, and sacrificial love deserves the honor of knowing you will not deny the personality and character he placed within you because you are afraid of being defiled again.  

Today, whatever your circumstances, celebrate the Agape love demonstrated by Christ. A love that you may have received.  Or, a once smoldering love within you that was harshly quenched – may that love be rekindled in your heart as God heals you and restores you to be the person you were always meant to be.

Promise yourself this Valentine’s Day that you will not let the flame die out.

‘Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame’

Song of Solomon 8:6